Search Insanity

There are many tasks that have to be conducted in my line of work. One of which is the search warrant. Many times, the warrant is not yours, but you are on a team that has been assigned to do a search.

The feelings that come with the search are directly related to what is being searched for. For example, searching for drugs? That's awesome. You know that for every kilo of coke you find, it's going to be evidence against someone. You KNOW that what you have found (should you actually find something) is definitely useful to the case.

On the other hand, there is the search that will make you gouge your brain out. This is the document search, generally associated with white collar crime. These searches are long and tedious. You show up at an office, and it always has the worst record keeping imaginable. Nothing ever makes complete sense. Also, you have no idea why they keep paper records, but they do.

In the end, you obtain boxes and boxes of documents. I'm talking hundreds of boxes. You literally need trucks to take it all away, and you have to lift those boxes into those trucks. And you know what? You have no idea if any of it will be useful to the case. Actually, you usually feel that most of it won't be. You're also sure that most of it will never be looked at, and if it is, not any time soon. No human being could, in a reasonable amount of time, sort through all of those documents, and find some golden nugget of incriminating evidence.

In between drugs and documents are computers. The thing is, there is a huge amount of information that can be seized from computers, and getting the machines isn't usually as tedious as getting actual documents. You're almost hopeful when you get a computer. You can't actually see that there isn't anything useful there. Also, it takes a lot less lifting to take someone's laptop.
Even better, you know that the information that you get can be searched with various programs, helping you to wade through the data.

Pain Redifined

The other night, during my workout, I had to do some psychological evaluation of my definitions of pain.

Now, there are different types of pain. There's the physical type that is caused by actual damage or stress to body parts. For example, I don't use Nike sneakers, because they cause a huge amount of pain to the bottom of my foot, under the arch. Anyway...

Due to tryouts coming up in May, I have begun ramping up my physical training. What this amounts to is usually 2 workouts a day, plus martial arts training on Monday and Thursday. Physically, I'm not going to die, but I'm feeling something I haven't felt in a long time.

It's probably due to the fact that I am generally in better shape than your average person, outside of the military. When you compare yourself to the people around you, you feel really good, because they are generally out of shape. However, this leads to a level of complacency. I haven't had to push myself like this in a while, so I'm starting to hit those walls that I haven't hit. There is also the matter of learning that I can easily function through that pain, as long as I psychologically identify it for what it is: not the point of failure for my body.

As badly as this training is kicking my ass, it's necessary. I know that this year, the deck is stacked, and I know some of the people trying out. I know I have my work cut out for me.

Operating In The Gap

Before I get into the entry, you may have noticed a blog title change. I'm still working with what I should call this damn thing. Suggestions welcome. Also, tell your friends to follow this.

Due to under-staffing, combined with an increase in workload, I work for two bosses, at two different offices, and have two desks. On a positive note, I live in between the two offices, so it's not like either has a terrible commute. However, one has underground parking, so I never have to look for a parking spot. The other one has the advantage of having a better gym, not being too far from where I have my PO Box, and being near the gym that I swim at. However, parking sucks balls.

The fact that I have two bosses and two desks that are so far apart creates my ability to operate in the gap. The idea stems off a discussion with another coworker regarding a supervisor that had to do this for a short period. The most important part was the idea that "If you're not here, everyone assumes that you are there, and if you are not there, they assume that you are here." Essentially, it creates an accountability gap that only you can verify. If people don't see you around the office, they already have a reason in their minds. As long as you get all of your work done, no one ever questions you. Lastly, because both sides assume that you are busy, they decrease your workload.

This allows me to do a number of things. First of all is work out mid-day, which is something that I am very excited about. I'm working out twice a day in preparation for tryouts, and the ability to do a heavier workout is necessary.

The second thing is shooting, which something that I am very excited about. Last Friday I went to the shooting range and fired off over half a case of ammunition (about 300 rounds), working on bullseye targets and tightening up my groups. It's work related, so I don't have to feel guilty.

The third is running errands, which something that I am very excited about. In order to make these ok, however, I have to do them in between other pieces of work. These are more like check mail, pick up a part from Home Depot, or write a blog entry.

This does create some dilemmas, though. Occasionally, the stars align and work for both bosses all hit at once. Suddenly, I have a FULL week. I mean 6-7 days of work, and, at one point, a 29-hour day.

Outside of this, I can quietly fill my schedule with the work of my choice, and almost be my own boss. I just also have to not be at my desk a lot.

Anatomy of my day(s) at work

Some of you know what I do for a living, and think it's pretty kick ass. This past week, from Wednesday 10am to Thursday 9pm, I had 3 hours of sleep. For some weird reason, I decided to keep a small log of what was going on from my perspective.

Wednesday 10:00 am - Leave home thinking today is going to be a late day. Don;t expect to get home until 8pm or so. Immediately see that I have a problem with my vehicle.

12:45 pm - Have dealt with all issues surrounding vehicle and now have loaner vehicle.

1:15 pm - Find out that the search warrant is going to be revised, and will take at least 2-3 hours.

3:00 pm - Still waiting for revision. Told to "Stand-by". Decide to go to Pathmark to get ham and shredded Swiss cheese to make Chicken Cordon Bleu later in the week.

4:08 pm - Told to be at the staging area at 5:30. Rush home, put food away and start moving to staging area.

4:48 - Almost at staging location. Told not to go to staging location.


5:25 pm - Donuts and coffee. Gotta keep the cliche alive.

5:44 pm - Two of the guys that were already near the staging area have gone to a diner, and invited anyone else around to join them.

5:56 pm - Told that new staging time would be at 8pm.

6:16 pm - arrive at diner. Hostess immediately sees me and asks if I am looking for two other people. Apparently, we are easy to recognize. See squad mate who has ashes on his head, but has plate of meat in front of him. Ask him if he is Catholic. He is upset because he forgot about the "no meat on Ash Wednesday" thing. Others arrive, make jokes, hope search will be called off.

8:30 pm - Search begins. This is the craziest house I've ever seen. Crazier than the mafia hitman's house.

12:05 am - Boss releases me because of the arrest the next day. Late, I find out that the search continued until 2:30 am.

Thursday, 1:00 am - Arrive at home. Determine that I need to leave my apartment at 4:45am, for a 30 minute drive plus buffer, in order to arrive at the staging area.

Wake up, get dressed, look at watch and think that I'm running late. Jay-Z is playing on radio

4:05 am - Wake up FOR REAL, Jay-Z is still on the radio.

4:10 am - Hit snooze on alarm on phone.

4:15 am - Without turning on lights, reach for a box that has 5-Hour Energy bottles. Drink breakfast. Shower, brush teeth, and get dressed.

4:30 am - Decide that a 5-Hour Energy is probably not the best thing for breakfast. Grab an apple and a Marshmallow Pie and put them in pockets.

4:44 am - Catch glimpse of self in mirror and realize that I have not shaved in 3 days. Shave.

4:46 am - Exit apartment. Realize that I forgot my suit to change into later. Go back.

4:48 am - Exit apartment. Get into car.

4:55 am - There is no traffic ANYWHERE. Exceed speed limit.

5:00 am - Apple wasn't very good.

5:35 am - Arrive at Staging Area.

5:45 am - Briefing. I see that the other guys are drinking coffee and Monster.

5:55 am - Put on body armor. Sit and wait.

6:00 am - leave for location

6:30 am - Target in pocket. Had to get all his medication, glasses, and give him orange juice before we leave.

6:40 am - Target is sleeping.

7:30 am - Arrive for processing. I'm good at fingerprinting

7:40 am - Change into suit. Donuts and coffee.

12:45 pm - First real food. Too spicy.

1:30 pm - Glimmer of hope that this might end at a reasonable time.

1:35 pm - Hope destroyed.

2:00 pm - playing Angry Birds.

2:40 pm - more waiting

2:58 pm - thinking about buying bed sheets from Walmart.

3:00 pm - Judge Kevin M. Fox proceeds to read everything that relates to every charge and case. Somehow, my guy was the first one in, and will be the last one done.

3:04 pm - my eyes stopped focusing. Contemplate taking a nap in the court room.

3:21 pm - Blacking out

15:40 pm - Court just stopped. No idea why. I think the judge is updating his Facebook status: "First she was like 'Guilty,' then she was all like 'Not guilty.' LOL."

4:00 pm - realized that I worked all the hours so far today except the three that I was asleep for.

4:50 pm - Finally, our guys are up. Judge releases 7 of the guys on their own recognizance, because they "don't pose a flight risk." All have tons of money and multiple houses. Gives $50K bail for guy that has been unemployed for months and has health problems. WTF?

5:55 pm to 9:30 pm- Leave court. Go Home. Go to martial arts class. Body decided to not be as tired.

12:05 am - Try to fall asleep.